Lockdown for me has taken away the guilt. We have to stay in, we have to play in the garden, we have to sit and watch films, we have to craft all day because that’s all we can do. We've had more fun because I'm not worrying that it's not enough.
I always worried that I was never going to be able to give Francesca (now 2) the time I was able to give my big girl Elizabeth (now 4) as I was on maternity leave when she was 2. We got to know each other even more, we became great pals and I was able to do the mum stuff I wanted. Like getting her ready for school, starting her at playgroup and potty training (up there as one of the proudest Mum moments – felt like a proper real Mum doing that!).
I am now seeing this situation as precious time I would never normally have with my youngest. I’m going to be able to have more time to play, get to know her some more and invest in lots of cuddles without the guilt of not doing enough.
We’re 3 weeks in now and I can honestly say, hand on heart, that I’ve actually really enjoyed it. It’s been tough and with both myself and partner, Phil, working full time at home whilst having the kids I’m not going to pretend every day is like an Instagram montage BUT we have found time to relax and play and just be. I’ve also created a craft draw which I think I love more than them!!
But for now, I’m making a promise to myself. When this is all over, I'm going to remember that just being us at home isn't something to feel guilty about. That this time we’ve been given is in some ways a blessing, and I will look back at this with fond memories.
Thanks Jess for sharing your story and how you are getting the best out of lockdown.